When You're Gone
by kaydeeshay
Summary: She had to get out; she knew she did. She was tired of using the storms in her life as an excuse for not doing what she should have done long ago. (T in case)


**A/N: I guess I'm not quite happy with the way things ended between Melissa & Ian on the show. Surprisingly, I like them. Even more surprisingly, this idea came to me and wouldn't let go. Thanks to Sam, Allie, Carrie, Cassie, and Lily for the support, as usual!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Pretty Little Liars.**

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Melissa Hastings sat inside her teal Honda Accord, watching the raindrops that were pattering against the windshield increase by the second.

She had to get out; she knew she did. She was tired of using the storms in her life as an excuse for not doing what she should have done long ago.

She shut her eyes tightly and took a deep breath. Inch by inch, her hand reached for the car handle.

Her walk across the cemetery was slow, resulting in her being drenched by the time she reached the grave.

She didn't care.

She stood there, staring at the headstone in silence. For how long, she couldn't say.

 **Ian Michael Thomas**

 **March 23, 1985 - June 14, 2010**

Melissa sat down. She stretched out her legs in the grass, ignoring the raindrops that were pelting her face. If it weren't for the fact that her shoulders were shaking, anyone could have mistaken her tears for the rain.

"Why did you do it," she whispered after a moment. "Why did you take your own life? Your family needed you. Your friends needed you." She turned her gaze away and looked down at the ground, picking at a blade of the damp, green grass. " _I_ needed you."

With the exception of the funeral service, she had never been to visit where he was buried. Every day was a series of ' _what if'_ s'; a constant race of thinking about what might have been. What _should_ have been.

She attempted to wipe the mixture of tears and rain off her face, but there was no point; her hands were just as soaked.

"WHY DID YOU DO IT?" she screamed, turning back in the direction of the gray stone. "Everything would have been alright. Were you afraid of getting in trouble? Were all of your past mistakes too much to handle? Because I forgave you for those! I told you I did, and I meant it. I would have helped you through it! Was I not enough for you?"

Ian wasn't the only one who had made mistakes; she knew she had her fair share of them. Every day was also ridden with guilt that she might be part of the reason. "Was _I_ too much to handle?"

She let out a choked sob. "We had so many plans. We were going to have three kids, remember? We had names picked out for them and everything. Taylor was supposed to become a reality."

She pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. "Everyone tells me to get over it. 'It's time to move on,' they say. I wish I could. It's not that easy."

She reached out her hand, delicately tracing the letters of his name. "No one sees the man I saw. Everyone says you were no good; that we never would have made it. They don't understand that you were trying to protect me. They see the big picture, but they still don't _get_ it," she continued, shaking her head. "Everything is fine now, you know. The girls are safe. Justice has been served, but not without cases of injustice. If none of this had ever happened, you might still be here. With me. Where you belong."

She stopped tracing the letters and bit her bottom lip. Tears filled her eyes once more. "I knew everything would be okay in the end. You promised me it would, and if there's one thing I know, you always kept your promises. All but one: you promised that you'd never leave me."

The breath that escaped was shaky as she swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat. "I get so angry sometimes, Ian, but I need you to know something: I loved you. I still do. I always will."

Somehow, her words slow down the rain. She begins to see the sun peeking out from behind the clouds as her body is filled with an inner peace it has never known.

A gentle breeze begins to blow, and she would almost swear that she hears his whisper on the wind: _I love you, too. I'm always here._

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 ** _It's pretty short, but I hope anyone who reads it enjoyed it. Feel free to favorite and/or review if you so desire. I love my readers! XoXo - Krys_**


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